


We'll Draw These Lines in the Sand Together

by ali_aliska



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Everything is Soft and Sweet, Going on a Road Trip, James is not the old Bucky Barnes, M/M, New Beginnings, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Secret Relationship, The Boys Take a Much-Deserved Break, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, early retirement, not team Cap friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-24 01:04:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20017726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ali_aliska/pseuds/ali_aliska
Summary: James hates living at the Compound. He’s no hero, no Avenger, and he doesn’t want to fight anymore. He’s justtiredand the urge to run and start over is overwhelming.He won’t run, because his heart is here with Tony, but he finds out Tony might be ready for his own new beginning too.[2019 Winteriron Week, Day 7 -”Move in with me.”andNew Beginningsand 2019 Tony Stark Bingo, K3 -Road Trip]





	We'll Draw These Lines in the Sand Together

**Author's Note:**

> Winteriron Week, Day 7!
> 
> Omg, it's done, I actually made it to the end. OMG. This event ended up being over 50K for me, posted in just seven days, and I might need to step away from the Winteriron for, like, a day or two. At least. 😅

James collapsed into bed, smothered his groan into the pillow before curling around it, and let his body sag into the mattress. He buried his nose into the soft material, hoping the lingering scent would comfort him and just tried not to think, but he quickly realized it was a failed effort. The thoughts kept swirling, every frustration, every shard of anger, every bitter word, every exhausting day and the dread of the inevitable next fight.

Life at the Compound didn’t agree with him. Being a _hero_ didn’t agree with him. He had never wanted to fight. Even before, when he was drafted, he fought out of duty, knowing people like Stevie needed him to be out there and perhaps there was still duty and responsibility to consider to this new world, but he was no longer that bright-eyed boy and he was just so _tired_.

It didn’t help that every step, every conversation, every _look_ in this place had become a mess of contentious personality clashes.

Steve was no longer ‘his Stevie’, replaced by a man blind to his own faults, who allied himself with people who whispered into his ear exactly what he wanted to hear. Lang was a weak-willed fanboy, Barton was bitter, and James couldn’t stand to be in the same _room_ as Maximoff.

The ‘New Avengers’ were somewhat better, but their sour opinion of James had lingered even after all these months. Some were genuinely kind and most had the decency to be polite even off-mission, but there was no mistaking their caution. After all, those suspicious looks and the hushed whispers were hardly subtle.

The Compound felt like another prison, where everyone either wanted him to be someone else or just wanted him gone, and he didn’t want to keep changing himself, keep twisting himself inside out to fit. He didn’t want to keep fighting these fights—on the battlefield _and_ in here, buried beneath each terse interaction—and he didn’t want to keep lying to himself that everything would magically change for the better one day.

He just wanted to run.

He wanted to disappear again and live in a tiny, cramped apartment, feed stray cats with kielbasa, buy himself fresh fruit to snack on, and wander the streets of busy cities in peaceful anonymity. He wanted to rest, without qualifiers, without a time limit, without looking over his shoulder and bracing himself for each conversation.

James sighed and burrowed deeper into the pillow, clutching it tighter.

He wouldn’t leave of course, because some things were more precious than even his peace of mind, but the desire was ever-present, pulling at him like a familiar siren song.

James lost track of the minutes, drifting in and out of fitful sleep as these thoughts flittered on the edges of his consciousness, and it was a soft knock at the door that brought him back to reality.

Whatever part of him managed to relax during this impromptu nap tensed again and if this was Steve or Wilson or anyone else—

The door unlocked, opened quietly, and Tony’s head peeked in only to swivel back and forth to check the hallway before he ducked into the room and closed the door behind him.

“Phew, okay, that was close. You’d think sneaking around my own Compound would be easier.”

James sat up, dragging the pillow out of his lap as he blinked the sleep out of his eyes.

“I thought you’d be tied up in the meeting until—Wait, is that a duffel bag around your shoulder?”

“Sure is.” Tony grinned and the caution in his movements disappeared, replaced with his normal energy as he sauntered over and dropped the empty bag at the end of the bed.

“Start packing,” he ordered, only to head into the closet to start rifling through James’ collection of shirts.

“Tony, what are you—why am I _packing_?”

Tony came back, his arms full already. “Because I’m kidnapping you to go on a road trip.”

“You’re—Wait, what? I don’t think you can kidnap your own very willing boyfriend, sweetheart.”

Tony dropped the clothes next to James with a huff. “Well, no one knows you’re my boyfriend, so yeah, everyone probably _will_ think I kidnapped you.”

“I think it’s more likely they’ll think I kidnapped _you_. Tony, wait, just—hold on for a moment, would you?” James’ plea was enough to stop Tony’s frenetic gathering of shoes. “What’s going on?”

Tony deflated with a sigh, dropped the pair of sneakers next the duffel bag and came around to stand in front of James, nestled in the _vee_ of his knees that opened for him automatically.

James looked up to be met with a soft smile. Two familiar hands cradled his face and the earlier frustrations began to bleed away, growing less potent with each caress of Tony’s thumbs, and when Tony pulled James in for proper a hug, pressed James’ temple to his breastbone and wrapped his arms around him, the world and this damnable life became less daunting again.

This was why James would never leave this place. No matter how miserable each mission made him, no matter how much he dreaded each fight and every cold shoulder, his reason to keep going, his beacon of light, his _Tony,_ was here.

James pressed in closer with a soft sigh when Tony began to card his hand through his hair and he wished he could melt into Tony’s embrace and pretend the world outside of this room didn’t exist.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Tony murmured, “do you think I wouldn’t notice how miserable you’ve been here?”

“M’fine,” James mumbled stubbornly into Tony’s shirt.

“Really? Because I don’t think you’ve _ever_ liked it here. The past couple month have been extra rough on you though, haven’t they?”

James still shook his head, but they both knew his obstinacy was mostly for show at this point.

“James, baby, can you be honest with me?” He waited until James looked up at him. “If it wasn’t for this—you and me, this strange, wonderful thing we stumbled into all those months ago—would you still be here?”

James’ first instinct was to say ‘yes’, that of course he’d be here because the world _needed_ people like him to be here, but Tony’s warm eyes held no judgment. He wanted James’ honest answer, was probably the only person who cared enough to want it.

“No,” James said simply, “I wouldn’t be here.”

“And what would you do instead?”

“I’d run. I’d disappear like I did before and live alone somewhere. Quiet, unremarkable, unimportant.”

“Yeah, that’s about what I figured too.”

“But I’m not planning to leave, Tony, I swear.” James needed him to understand this. “I’d never leave you. All of this, it’s worth it if I get to see you. I’m just—I’m just tired and whiny and that last mission, it took too much out of me, but it’ll get better, I swear. I’ll try to do better.”

He was ready to do what was needed to convince Tony, to convince _himself_ of these lies, but Tony didn’t demand explanations. He didn’t demand anything, just knelt before James, carefully settling in on his knees to look up at James with those soft brown eyes.

“I’m not sure it will get better though and it’s not fair to you, to keep suffering through this.” The gentle words matched his touch when he brushed James’ hair back, dragged his knuckles down his cheek. “Can I share a secret with you? Because lately, I’ve been feeling a little tired myself. Maybe not even ‘lately’. It’s been a long, _long_ decade for me,” Tony added, his exhale heavy, the shake of his head resigned, but he still turned his face into James’ palm eagerly when James reached out to touch him.

James had to admit Tony did look exhausted. The perpetual dark shadows beneath his eyes, the lines of tension permanently etched into his body, the strained tilt of his smiles.

The desire to run away was joined by the desire to steal _Tony_ away and hide them both from the world and maybe that kidnapping idea wasn’t so strange after all.

Tony gave James’ palm a kiss and met his eyes again. “I’ve been through a lot of shit in this past decade, had a lot of close calls. I’ve seen cities crumble to dust, I’ve had my mistakes come back to haunt me, I’ve witnessed other worlds and learned more than I ever wanted to know. I’ve seen betrayals and lies and regrets eat us all from the inside, drive us to ruin, but I’ve also seen us rebuild and recover and grow stronger. The Avengers, they’re not just me and Steve and Bruce and the super spies anymore. We’re not just Fury’s little secret, we’re an actual organization, working with the world around us—working with beings _beyond_ our world. People are showing up at our doorstep every day with new powers, looking for protection and training and resources.”

“You all have done a great deal,” James agreed, unsure where Tony was going with this, but proud of him nonetheless. He only wished he could proudly be part of this too, but his heart didn’t want this. He wasn’t an Avenger and he didn’t want to become one.

Of all these fantastical things, his heart only wanted the one kneeling before him.

“We have done a lot, but there’s something else I’ve learned over these last few years. The Avengers, my company, the whole damn world, they don’t really need me anymore.”

James frowned. “Of course they do. Tony, you’re—you’re the heart of this place. People look to you when someone goes wrong, they trust _you_ to pull them out of a tight spot.”

“Maybe, sometimes, but it’s not just me anymore.” Tony took James’ right hand and began to drop feather-light kisses on his knuckles. “I promise this isn’t just my self-deprecating nonsense for once. Realizing that the fate of the Avengers, the safety of the world, _everything_ , that it wasn’t something only _I_ could carry on my shoulders was liberating. Call it narcissism, call it penance, I don’t know, but I carried that burden for so long, and when I finally stopped and looked around and realized I wasn’t truly needed… That was the first time I found myself truly relieved.”

Tony closed his eyes and held James’ hand against his lips for a long moment. James didn’t interrupt, letting Tony think and gather himself before speaking again.

“Rhodey, Carol, and Nat are leading the Avengers. We have Kings and Princes and Starlords advocating for us here on Earth and around the galaxy. Peter, Ned and Shuri are running circles around most of my tech. I’m almost certain both Harley and Riri have already built their own suits, independently, and they’re gonna have to fight over who gets to be ‘Iron’ what and it’s going to be amazing. Pepper is running SI like a well-oiled machine, I hand-picked her R&D team, and they’re going to do just fine without me. And maybe if it was just me, I’d keep fighting the good fight, but I’m not alone anymore. I have you now too and call me selfish, but I want to _enjoy_ you. I want us to enjoy each other.” 

He stopped there to draw James in for a kiss and just like always, James savored this moment of intimacy, only wishing he could have more without needing to hide them away in the shadows.

“So, is that why you’re taking this road trip? Because you need a break and everyone can handle things without you now?”

“I want to take _us_ on a road trip because I am in desperate need of a break, yes, but also because the only time I get to see you smile is when we’re like this, alone and away from the rest of our lives, and I want to see you happier than that. You deserve a break too.”

James couldn’t deny that. The thought of getting away, even for a little while, was intoxicating and he knew it would make dealing with all of this easier down the road. Just a tiny break would be enough to give James the strength he needed to grin and bare the misery so he could remain at Tony’s side.

“A break sounds wonderful,” he admitted.

“It does, doesn’t it? I bet there’s so much you haven’t seen yet either and I want to take you anywhere you want to go. Just you and me and the open road, and we’ll eat at tiny restaurants that serve the best food in the state, we’ll geek out at museums, we’ll see every weird, local oddity—giant rocking chairs and creepy signs and cool, little landmarks. We’ll camp out in every national park, maybe find some _bears_. It’ll be so fun.”

Tony’s enthusiasm was infectious and James couldn’t help but smile in gratitude.

“That sounds amazing. All of that, I want all of that.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely. But what about—” James frowned. “What about the others? I can’t imagine word won’t get out that Tony Stark and the Winter Soldier are touring the country together.”

“I did think about that too.” Tony scooted closer and wriggled until James obliged and wrapped his arms around Tony’s shoulders. “Do you think you’re ready to go public with this?”

“I am if you are. I just don’t want to make things more difficult for you. You deal with so much already.”

“Let me worry about me, gorgeous. Now, is it safe to assume you don’t care how Steve finds out?”

“Won’t matter how he does, he’ll still blow a gasket.”

“Right. So, it comes down to my friends then, who all currently think you’re planning to murder me.”

“Pretty sure Rhodes is planning to murder _me_.”

“I swear I’m trying to get him off your back, but he thinks I’ve been avoiding you because I’m _scared_ or something—oh, and a certain someone who can’t keep his eyes off me every time we’re in the same room isn’t helping, by the way. Since, you know, that certain someone’s longing gazes look _exactly_ like his murder glares.”

“Okay, in my defense, it’s not my fault. I blame you and your ridiculously tight pants.”

“A valid counterargument, but at this juncture, irrelevant.” Tony wasn’t just happy, he was _playful_ if the tiny smooch he gave the tip of James’ nose was any indication, and James was falling in love with the idea of this road trip more and more. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Tony this excited and that was a damn shame, for so many reasons. His own misery had clouded his judgment so badly, he’d missed his boyfriend’s exhaustion, hadn’t realized Tony had been struggling to deal with everything too.

James vowed to do better.

“However, back to my point,” Tony continued, undeterred. “I could be the mature adult here, sit down with Rhodey and the others, have a candid conversation. I could also take a more careful route and write a letter or something. A little less personal maybe, but still mature and it gives everyone time to process.”

“But I’m guessing you’re planning to go with the _third_ option, aren’t you?”

Tony waggled his brows. “You know me so well and _yes_ , I say we do this in the most obnoxious way possible. We go to Disneyworld, put on the Mickey Mouse ears, take a selfie with me smooching the hell out of you, and drop it on Instagram. My friends find out we’re together, Steve has his little breakdown far, far away from us, and the internet is a tiny bit frazzled for a day or two.”

“That has to be the most Tony Stark thing I’ve ever heard,” James said. Tony’s eyes glinted when James added, “I’m only board if I get to be the one kissing you in the photograph.”

“Square deal.”

They both grinned, lost in the silliness for a moment, but the atmosphere settled back into the earlier tones quickly, their bone-deep exhaustion too close on their heels, and the implications of taking this huge step—just up and _leaving_ , even temporarily—felt monumental.

“This sounds perfect, but can we really just go?”

“I mean, there will be some fanfare about us going _together_ , but I say, at this point, we’ve earned the right to take a break. I’ve been talking to Rhodey for a while now, actually. Not about a road trip with you, obviously, but about stepping back. He’s ecstatic, really, and fully supportive. Not because he wants me out of the way—well, mostly—but because he knows I’m ready to step down. I’m old and gray and Tony Stark just isn’t needed anymore, at least not in the day-to-day. Oh, and by the way, we also have space assassins and half a SHIELD’s worth of spies now, so don’t take this the wrong way, gorgeous, but I don’t think the world really needs the Winter Soldier anymore either.”

Tony softened the words with another kiss, but he pulled away, obviously worried, when James let out the small sniffle that managed to wriggle its way out of him.

James tried to smile to alleviate that worry even as he blinked to clear the sting of fresh tears. To hear that, said with so much love and so much honest conviction, brought him a sense of relief so sharp, he wasn’t sure he could stop the damn tears.

“I think that may be the kindest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Tony brushed his thumbs just beneath James’ eyes, wiping away the invisible tears James refused to let fall out of sheer stubbornness. Tony had always been so gentle, had always known _how_ to be gentle without treating James like some fragile, weak little thing. It had always been kindness in its purest form and a visceral understanding of the horrors they’ve lived through, a desire to give them both the tenderness they craved.

Tony’s smile dimmed though and he bit his lips, looking up through his lashes. It was almost shy and uncharacteristic and the shift in expression had James tilting his head curiously.

“Why do I feel you’re going to outdo yourself and say something even more profound than that?”

Tony’s shrug was anything but innocent. “I was gonna wait to do this, maybe when we were laying under the stars or sitting by a river or something dumb and romantic like that, but I’ve learned not to spring big, important things on people when they don’t have a reasonable escape route—although you’re the Winter Soldier, you _always_ have a reasonable escape route, so I’m not sure if that makes a difference, but—”

“Tony, sweetheart, you’re rambling. Whatever it is, just tell me.” Rambling Tony was adorable, but he was obviously nervous about something, which made _James_ nervous and he could only handle so many butterflies in his stomach.

Tony reached for the back pocket of his jeans and fussed, trying to get something out—this was exactly what James meant about the tight pants—but with a triumphant “Aha!”, Tony succeeded in freeing whatever it was he was looking for.

He held up a small, golden key.

Still chewing on his lip, eyes glued to the key as he shifted on his knees to get comfortable again, Tony said, “I thought we’d finish our road trip in Northern California, at this cute, little cottage sitting on top of a few acres I’m hoping to turn into a vineyard. The building’s still being built actually, mostly because there’s going to be a workshop underneath and I gotta find room for an arc reactor so Friday has all the power she needs to run the place, but everything will be done by the time we get there and it’ll be super cozy, I promise.” The hand holding the key trembled minutely and when Tony looked up, the vulnerability in his eyes, right there on full display for James to do as he wished, was overwhelming. “Move in with me, James.”

James wasn’t sure he could _breathe_ , let alone speak, and Tony was too quick to fill that stunned silence.

“I just meant—only if you want to, of course. It doesn’t have to be now or at the end of the trip or anything, and we could always just go back the Compound if you’re not ready, I understand that living together is different than what we’ve been doing, the sneaking around and just spending nights together, but I just thought that—”

James silenced these nervous ramblings with a kiss when he finally shook off the surprise and as he deepened that kiss and held Tony close with the metal arm around his waist, he plucked the key with the other and held it tightly, relishing the sensation of its metal edges digging into his skin.

It was real and it was _his_ and when they broke apart and he got to see the brush of color over Tonys’ cheeks, the wide, toothy grin, the _joy_ in his eyes, James realized that for the first time in his life he felt hope for the future.

“God, I didn’t think I could love you more. Of course I’ll go with you, how could you even doubt that? You’re the only reason I’m still here, I’d follow you to the ends of the Earth if I had to, and you’re here, offering me a cute little cottage with a vineyard and thinking I might still say ‘no’?”

Tony’s joyful expression was breathtaking too. “Just needed to make sure. Oh, there’s also a nice farmer’s market down the road and some cool little restaurants and all the big cities are only a few hours away if we get bored. Hell, Vegas is a short ten hours away, we can go party and get drunk and wake up married the next day and I’ll gamble away half my money and you’ll have to go on an epic heist to steal it back from the casinos.”

Tony really was adorable when he was overeager and nervous and James kissed him again just to taste that giddy smile for himself. “So what I’m hearing is that I shouldn’t _ever_ take you to Vegas then?”

“Eh, just don’t let me gamble. Last time I was there, I remember Caesars Palace swindling me out of a few hundred grand, at least, over the span of an _hour_. Thank god Rhodey showed up when he did.”

“Oh, you’re going to be trouble, aren’t you?”

“Only if we get to make that trouble together.”

James blinked away tears again, overwhelmed and nervous and _hopeful_. He drew Tony in for a tight hug, hid his face against Tony’s shoulder, and let Tony hold him while he took a moment to let this new reality settle.

“Thank you,” he whispered and Tony’s soft kiss to his temple said all that had to be said.

When James was strong enough to brave the world without Tony’s arms around him, it was excitement that took hold of him next. “So, I guess I better finish that packing, huh?”

“Yup, but just for the road trip. We’ll get everything else moved later. I, uh… I should probably go tell the others I’m taking some time off, huh?”

“I’ll be right here waiting.”

With a parting wink and a “Love you, gorgeous, it’ll be just a minute,” Tony took off and James was left with an empty duffel bag, a brand new hope aching sweetly in his chest, and a smile someone might even call beaming.

* * *

They drove for hours, sang off-key to eighties rock and ate greasy cheeseburgers on the hood of Tony’s car. They found the best pizza joint in a small town in Pennsylvania and wandered the humid streets of Washington D.C. until they were sick of historical tours. They tasted every style of BBQ they could get their hands on as they made their way through the South, learned how to property eat crawfish in New Orleans, and spent early mornings walking down the Florida beaches, welcoming each sunrise with their hands laced together and the taste of their lips ever-present.

They did, in fact, take a picture at Disneyworld while getting full on churros and ice cream and decked out in ridiculous merchandise, but they didn’t share their joy with the world. Rhodes and the others already knew—Tony broke the news before their car ever left the garage—and the rest of the world didn’t matter.

There were pictures of them cropping up anyways, but the people who cared enough about the gossip were an easily distracted beast and moved on quickly to juicier dramas.

They slept under the stars in five National Parks, hiked gorgeous trails and climbed steep mountains to see the most breathtaking views. Much to Tony’s dismay, they didn’t run into bears, but the glory of nature did them both so much good anyways.

They did stop by Vegas, which streaked by them in its shock of noises and colors as they drove past the casinos and stopped to eat the most delicious bowl of ramen in a tiny hole-in-the-wall within the city instead.

They escaped the heat of the desert to visit the fish markets of Seattle and kiss in the rain. They ventured back south and wandered the streets of Los Angeles hand-in-hand, visited museums and local art galleries and Tony’s favorite food joints. They stood on the beach as the chilly waves of the Pacific lapped at their bare feet and they breathed freely, together, for the first time in decades.

For Tony, the trip was a well-deserved break from his busy, dangerous life, but for James, it was as much a break as it was rediscovery, of the world, of himself, of the life he wanted to build.

* * *

Their cottage was, in fact, cozy, with its open views and quiet streets, a swing on the back porch and bright wildflowers lining the winding paths. The workshop was lit up and ready for its genius, James had a full library to call his own, and their belongings were unpacked and waiting for them.

Friday’s sweet voice welcomed them and with her in charge of security, there were no real locks for a key to open, but when Tony and James stood at the threshold of their new home and kissed to celebrate their new beginning, James had the small key on a chain, safety tucked beneath his shirt to keep it close to his heart.


End file.
